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Notes of the morning

Posted on January 29, 2020 by Selectively Curious

Journeying my way through the mall every morning has become almost therapeutic. I love that I get to see the mall at its quietest in the mornings, before the shops have opened and arguably at its loudest in the evenings. I love how the tourists pop in around the time I make my way to the metro, all dressed up ready to explore this concrete jungle that is currently my home, until I move to the next place.

The weather has been delightful, cold and crisp in the mornings. The morning air is beautifully refreshing and it’s probably the first time in the UAE I’m enjoying every moment of it before the heat seeps in. We don’t get many “cold” days but the days we do get, having lived here most of my life, I don’t think I’ve ever savoured it as much as I am this year. There isn’t really a walking culture here, to get around, you need a car. Driving makes you miss out on the good weather and positive effects it can have on you. It’s one of the reasons I miss London and look forward to moving back.

One thing I’ve definitely noticed is that people are always on the rush or on their phones. There’s no interaction and God forbid there be any eye contact. They say a silent retreat is challenging because you can’t speak or communicate with anyone, not even with your eyes. Ironically it will probably be more challenging for those that are fixed on their phones not interacting with “real” humans around them than the ones that aren’t glued to their phones all the time. It’s a bit sad that no one makes eye contact anymore. Makes me curious why some people fear the zombie apocalypse, it’s already here and we’re surviving.

Stay curious, my loves. X

Selectively Curious©

Greek is difficult

Posted on April 16, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Today was a relatively free day at work and didn’t have any emails coming in so I decided to start learning Greek, because well, why not?

I love languages and the culture behind each language. I feel the best way to really understand another’s culture is to immerse yourself into their language, their arts, their cuisines and so on. I have a problem with starting too many things and not really finishing anything, I feel sometimes my life is like a taster appetiser, where I try a lot of things but don’t really commit to a main dish. Maybe it’s because my passion tends to fade as quickly as it builds up.

Until today, I didn’t know that Greek was not a latin language, it’s hellenic and Greek is the only language that is hellenic. Their alphabets are quite confusing, I’ve spent a good two hours today trying to read the words, simple words and haven’t gotten around to reading it, yet. I’m ok at languages, I guess it helps that I speak two languages fluently and a few others, though I cannot speak it, my understanding capabilities is pretty ok.

I usually use the app duolingo, I’ve used it for Spanish and French, but I have some background in Spanish (which isn’t a difficult language to learn in my opinion, nor pronounce) and French so maybe that’s why touching up in these two languages isn’t difficult and it’s quite fun. Greek on the other hand, maybe I need more than just a basic app to help me read the language and better understand it. I don’t even understand the audio, when the lady pronounces the word for me to repeat it. It’s quite bizarre.

However, I am determined and within a month, I will speak basic greek. I think I will use the down time I have at work at the moment to my advantage and also touch up on my spanish, french and arabic, because I just want to. Let’s see how I progress. 🙂

Selectively Curious©

Sensitive soul

Posted on April 3, 2017 by Selectively Curious

The most difficult thing I’ve come to realise is trying to still be good to those who only do you wrong. When I was younger it would make me curious how my parents were always good to those, even if they were wronged. I grew up with such morals and have been taught that no matter what happens, always be kind.

How do you maintain a balance? I am a sensitive soul, in hind sight, I always have been. I feel deeply about everything, whether it be happiness, sadness, confusion, anger, and anxiousness (can’t think of any more words to describe emotions).

You may ask, what is a sensitive soul? Well for one, don’t be fooled by such individuals, they may be sensitive but they are far from weak. They have the ability to put aside their own needs and feelings to cater to those that need a boost. Their ability to feel deeply makes them great empaths thus helps them truly understand what the other person is going through. Often times people are unable to express how they feel and the sensitive soul will verbalise those feelings to the point, which shocks some people, sometimes. The emotions they feel are their strength as they allow themselves to feel deeply, thus making them able to handle a situation and controlling their feelings better than those who brush their emotions to the side. They can handle more than most because they’re used to feeling more than most.

Being a sensitive soul also gives you a hightened intuition in someways because they notice everything, even the most minor details such as a change of expression on someone’s face, which may have only lasted for a second. At times when logic makes no sense, their souls are able to come up with answers that does make sense. However there is a flip side, often such people have insecurities that cloud their intuition, as I have experienced many times and I think it’s important to listen to your intuition. Even if your mind tells you otherwise, listen to your inner voice, before the voice disappears forever.

Being around a sensitive soul, you will notice that they give you their undivided attention (to be fair sometimes people drag on a story longer than it should be and I get distracted). They can judge a situation and give you what you need. Even if it is just someone to sit quietly with. There is comfort in silence.

They have compassion on a deeper level and have the ability to move the world. Their kindness shines through their face and you can feel the genuine love they have to offer. They have so much to give and the ability to give wholeheartedly without being worn down. If anything the giving fuels them, especially when they see the joy on people’s faces. That is priceless.

Selectively Curious©

Have you ever?

Posted on March 31, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Have you ever looked at a full grown person and wondered what they looked like when they were babies?

It used to be my favourite thing to do when I didn’t have my ipod or a book to read on the tube (aka the underground train in London). Of course I would look away before any eye contact was made, didn’t want to be break the unwritten rule of “no eye contact”. I love how my imagination takes me to unknown territory. It’s not easy of course to picture a man with a full grown beard as a baby, or an older person who looks so tired and sick of life and it shows on the face.

Have you ever cut your hair? I don’t mean just snippets, trimmed but actually completely chop off your long hair into really short, ear length hair?

It’s absolutely the most liberating activity I have taken a part in and I’ve done it a few times. Usually when I feel that I’m losing control of certain aspects of my life and the frustration gets to me, I pick up a pair or scissors and just cut it all off. I love it and it’s actually quite addictive. I probably would never shave it all off completely but who knows what the future holds.

Have you ever seen something and not believe your own eyes, something that may be paranormal?

When I was younger, I used to play the piano. I wasn’t very good but I would play random things, reminds me I should probably take it up again. Anyway, on one of those days, I was sitting by the window about to play and I see black smoke come out of a building opposite mine. One of the apartments was on fire and I could see the flames burning and in that moment I see a figure step out on to the balcony of his/her apartment and just lean on the ledge. I stopped and looked a little closer and I saw that the man’s (or well at least it looked like a man) arm was on fire and he was just standing there. I ran to go call my brothers to see what was happening but by the time we came back to the window, the man had gone. I still can’t believe what I saw. He was just standing there as his arm burnt.

Have you ever been electrocuted?

Just once and it felt really weird. My mom asked me to change a light bulb in the living room. I took the new bulb and walked over to the lamp that needed the change, barefoot. As I put my hand on the old bulb, to twist it out, I felt a shock go through my whole arm and my hand got stuck to the bulb. First impulse of any person, is to get away from the hurt, in any way. Since my hand was stuck to the bulb I moved away (all whilst screaming and shaking). It all happened so fast and the next thing I knew, the porcelain lamp had fallen and shattered on the ground. I broke free from the electrocution. Honestly, I didn’t even realise I was screaming until my brother came out and asked me why I was screaming.

Have you ever been determined and stuck by it?

Story of my life, which sometimes tickles me.

Selectively Curious©

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Take a leap of faith

Image | Posted on March 12, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Don’t be afraid anymore.

I’ve been a bit of a scardy cat my whole life, in some ways I don’t like an adrenaline rush so you won’t ever find me on a rollercoaster or sky diving. When I was a kid I would always walk behind my mom, her being my mighty shield. I’m not sure what I was so afraid of, here are a few things that I remember:

People;
Loud noises;
Being away from my mom.

The list above is not exclusive and thinking back, I was quite an odd child. Being the only girl with two brothers I’ve naturally been close to my mother. I remember waking up in the middle of the night every night checking if my parents were still in bed. I had this weird paranoia that my parents would abandon me even though I was too young to even understand the consequences for the abandonment to fear it but that used to be my greatest fear.

On one of those nights, I must have been maybe 3, I woke up to do my daily checks and opened my bedroom door. After I heard my parents speaking I closed the door. My younger brother’s pram was learning against the wall and when I opened the door, the pram lost its balance and fell on my foot. I don’t remember the pain but I remember being carried and looking at my right foot with my eyes filled with tears. I have a scar on my foot till this day.

Relating back to the title of this post, it reminds me how far I have come from that night and now even when I am afraid, I fight my fears because no one ever became successful if they gave into those fears. That night taught me to be more brave and not be paranoid about silly things. It taught me that scars heal, even if you pick at it, with time, it heals until it is barely visible.

I will take a leap of faith and challenge myself to be better everyday. We owe it to ourselves to be the best that we can be. So what are you waiting for? Go on, take a leap of faith and believe that the best is yet to come.

Selectively Curious©

I’m listening…

Posted on March 10, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Recently, everyday after work and on the weekends, I binge watch Frasier.

I absolutely love that show and it’s one of the shows that has made me most curious about psychiatry and how the human mind is so complex. In some ways the character of Frasier reminds me of me. How he loves to help people by trying to solve their problems, how he would give reassurances to people that need it most and how to unlock their insecurities and find solutions to overcome them. I do not have a psychiatrist background or education but I like to read a lot and understand why people are the way they are.

He is also an empath and it made me curious, even though he is a fictional character, I wanted to see if Frasier’s birthday was recorded as I always thought he could be a pisces. It’s March 7, in case you were wondering, which makes him a fellow pisces. Now I am not one to believe in horoscopes, however in relation to the personality traits each star sign represents, there is a trend and I do think that it is accurate.

All things aside, I find him to be hilarious, I think it’s a very intelligently written show and the characters are so perfectly developed. It makes me so curious the way a psychiatrist can diagnose people thus helping them find solutions to their shortcomings , easily and yet it is almost impossible to self diagnose. Why is that? I think it’s because when the psychiatrists are diagnosing their patients, its on a very non personal/ non emotional level and thus they are able to form a non bias judgement/diagnoses. Consequently it may not be wise to self diagnose because they do not have that level of emotional detachment with themselves to self diagnose effectively.

It’s all quite interesting, I feel that I must learn a little more about this subject. Any thoughts? I’m listening…

Selectively Curious©

Never lose your childish innocence

Posted on March 6, 2017 by Selectively Curious

As I was grabbing lunch today, I saw a little girl, skating on her scooter and as she went past me she was in her own little world, humming away.

It made me remember a line from the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, which is one of my favourite movies, when Katherine says “No matter what happens, always keep your childish innocence. It’s the most important thing” It is also something the Italian director and writer Fedrico Fellini said. 🙂

I really like the idea behind this, we get so caught up by the unnecessary stresses of life that we lose our childish innocence and it’s sad. I think it’s important to take a step back to reflect, re-ground ourselves and just keep it simple. To quote Leonardo Da Vinci

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication

I wholeheartedly agree with him. There’s elegance in being simple, which is why everyone I know owns a simple black dress (although their reasons can be entirely unrelated to this idea) and would also explain why Mona Lisa was such a masterpiece. If you analyse the painting, there’s nothing spectacular about it and at the same time everything about it is spectacular. It’s a simple paining of a simple looking woman and it represents so much grace, elegance and sophistication, in the way that she is smiling, sitting and looking at the painter. Arguably, she was drawn from the imagination of Leonardo Da Vinci and wasn’t an actual person, but still. I can somehow understand where he was coming from when he said that, even though maybe the context of why he said it might be completely different.

This also makes me think of Einstein’s quotes:

Things should be made as simple as possible but not any simpler

Things should be simple, I don’t understand the incessant need people have to complicate matters. For example, lawyers are known to be all fancy shmancy when usually they can say what needs to be said in three sentences rather than 3 paragraphs. Although, in our defense, this has changed immensely and good lawyers are known for their succinctness and the following quote emphasizes and proves that:

If you cannot explain it simply, you do not understand it well enough

and lastly, since I am speaking of keeping it simple, Einstein’s quote:

I believe that a simple and unassuming life is good for everybody physically and mentally

This is where I don’t agree with Einstein. I was listening to a song called Happiness sung by Needtobreath, a song I felt they sung for me as it resonates with me on so many levels and in the song they sing:

I’ve got dreams that keep me up in the dead of night telling me I wasn’t made for the simple life…

I don’t think everyone is made for the simple life and I don’t think one should be simple in every aspect of their life, just maybe in the way they communicate. I think a conscious effort must be made to keep things simple, don’t over stress and don’t sweat the small stuff. Sometimes it’s better to take things at face value and not allow yourself to overreact to something that’s nothing, don’t assume anything without having hard facts, as Eintein did say “unassuming life”. This point is crucial as the less you assume the more peaceful your life will be, mentally and if you’re mentally at peace then you’re mentally healthy, I think that makes you somewhat physically healthy too.I mention this because often times I find my girlfriends complaining about a man in their lives, where they’ve gone 100 miles away from the facts because they’ve assumed the worst and built a whole story in their mind. Having said that, a lot of the times they get the worst advice from their girlfriends.

If I can add any value to anyone’s life, please do not assume anything about anyone, until you know for a 100% that they’ve done something wrong and even then, give them the benefit of the doubt and hear their side of the story. 🙂

Featured image: I chose this photo for the featured image because there is nothing more innocent than nature, it’s simply beautiful and I didn’t use filters to enhance the image. At the same time, I like that over the horizon you can see the complexities of life, aka high rise buildings and it’s complex nature, thus demonstrating a balance in the world.

What are we afraid of?

Posted on March 5, 2017 by Selectively Curious

I’m in my comfort zone.

About three years ago I had a very active social life. I would be out all the time meeting a bunch of new people and it was just great. Like all things, it came to an end and I didn’t do much to continue mingling with other people to maintain my active social life. Somewhere along the lines it got difficult and I’m not sure why that is. I’m naturally an extrovert, I love being around people, talking to them, trying to understand them on a deeper level. Having said that I also really like being by myself and the past year, I’ve gotten really good at being myself and being very content. It’s dangerous.

I was skyping with my best friend before thinking of what to post and she was telling me about her life. She was contemplating moving to Dubai but decided not to because she doesn’t want to miss out on the life she has worked so hard to create for herself in Toronto. I don’t blame her especially since I want her to move to Dubai for purely selfish reasons. I miss her, I miss having friends I can rely on and I’m tired of having acquaintances and meaningless friendships. It’s ironic how my closest friends are geographically so far away from me. The featured image popped up as I was reading a random article and it made me think why I’m stuck in a somewhat “pity party”. I feel that I am afraid to open up, mingle and have a social life again only because I have become so comfortable in my comfort zone. I’ve in some ways gone back to the girl that I was shy and content in her own world and it’s a shame because I’ve worked hard to be confident and a somewhat risk taker. Before doing something, I’m usually advised against doing, I always ask myself, what’s the worst that can happen? Please note, I’m not wild at all and this is mostly applied on relationships, career/job prospects and talking to strangers. I miss the dynamic/spontaneous person I used to be and in someways I am afraid to open up again and I’m not sure why. I don’t really think that it’s fear, I think I’ve gotten too lazy and I love Frasier. I look forward to finishing with work so I can come home to watch Frasier, wow that’s pretty sad. I went from watching no tv because I had a life to watching only tv. Right, this needs to stop. It’s time to get back and enjoy life, the way it is meant to be enjoyed.

I think I need a start over. I wasn’t happy with yesterday, nor today. I lack motivation to do things whole heartedly as I used to and I think all of this comes down to me seriously needing a break. It’s my drapetomania and it’s hitting me hard. I really want to go away for a little while, a change of scenery is always so necessary.

Here are a few ideas:

I could go to Oman, it’s nearby and it’s gorgeous.
Petra, Jordan, also relatively nearby
Stay in the UAE and go to the mountain regions, like Fujairah.
Take up a language course and just have my mind engaged in something
Refresh my piano skills
Find ways to meet more people

Nice to know I have options and I haven’t been to any of these places. So I will follow the advice of the random website pop-up and I will try something different. I’m sure it will help with my motivation levels and hopefully will also help my become more creative in my writing. 🙂

I would love to hear your thoughts on these ideas and I am open to more suggestions.

Have a beautiful night everyone. 🙂 x

An apartment by the Bay

Posted on March 1, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Almost a year ago I moved away from Abu Dhabi to Dubai. I was transferred to the Dubai office of the firm I work for.

I’d like to take a moment and just reflect on how quickly the time flies. When I was transferred, I was given two weeks notice (much like the movie) and in those two weeks I had to find a new place and move in immediately. Luckily Abu Dhabi is not too far from Dubai so initially, for about a 2 weeks I did have to commute, until my furniture arrived to my apartment.

My heart was set on a building which was right next to work and it had a few apartments empty. This was because I was new to Dubai and didn’t want to get caught up in the morning rush trying to get into work. However, for some reason, either the agent would increase the price or tell us it was no longer available. We had contacted a few agents about the apartments in the building. Until finally we managed to secure one and handed in a deposit. Little did I know that handing in a deposit doesn’t mean much and the next morning the agent called saying how the apartment is in high demand and can only make it available to me if we pay a higher rent. I flat out refused (pun intended), it’s not a joke and it shouldn’t be this difficult to book an apartment. Shame that people are not good for their word anymore and luckily I got my deposit back. Time was running out and I was back to square one and had no apartment. It was difficult to call agents at that time too because work was extremely busy. I have to admit, I was extremely lucky because my parents were very helpful. They would drive to Dubai to view the apartments on my behalf. I cannot stress enough how grateful I am for their help. In any case I gave up on that building and even though the agent called again confirming that another apartment was available, I was now adamant to find a place anywhere else and never live in that building.

I had basically lost faith in ever finding an apartment and decided that commuting won’t be that bad and that I could do it. 10 days into commuting back and forth everyday, my hunt was back on. Luckily my mother had found another agent and she was excellent. She knew exactly what I was looking for and didn’t play any games in relation to my budget. She booked a viewing and I had taken a few days off to find a place. So on a Thursday, I went to Dubai with my parents to view the places. The first building was in a compound with a cluster of 13 buildings. We walked up to the compound from the underground parking, as we stepped outside, my dad said to me “This is it” with a big smile on his face and this was before we had gone up to look at the apartment! It just had a nice vibe to it, which the other building next to work did not have. We went up had a look at a few apartments and I chose the corner apartment. We got the lease signed the same day and I had the keys to my very own place.

It makes me curious how something’s just work out. Maybe it is fate? I guess the moral of the story is, if something is meant to be, it will be easy peasy. Don’t force things, just let it be. 🙂

Featured image is the view from my apartment.

40 light years away

Posted on February 23, 2017 by Selectively Curious

To infinite and beyond?

Nasa has found a new solar system which is only 4o lightyears away from us. How far is 40 light years away? After much reading, I think one light year is 5.88 trillion miles away. This begs the question, how is 40 lightyears away considered only? I understand that this discovery is astronomical, but really I do fail understand what all the fuss is about.

Here are a few questions that pop into my mind:

Are we looking for another planet to live on?
who would actually risk moving out of our atmosphere to explore a completely alien planet, which has no guaranteed oxygen levels
even if life is discovered on those planets, how do we know we will be able to communicate with us, ok before I continue, this just just feels like pandora’s box.

Can we even travel 40 light years away? the simple answer to this is, before I get into the maths is that we do not have the technology to go fast enough to reach there. Apparently it will take 700,000 years to get there with our current technology. The fastest moving vehicle (if you can call it that) which is in the works to be built is called the Solar Probe plus and that will travel at a speed of 724,000km/hr and with that it will take approximately 57 years to reach the sun, which is only 0.00001581 light years away. Wow, so by that math, I can understand the excitement felt by finding 7 earth sized planets however I cannot relate to it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being cynical, it is a huge discovery and I have often laid awake in bed wondering if there is a parallel world out there, which a girl just like me, maybe doing the exact thing as I am write now, writing in her blog as I am. The possibilities of what is out here is actually endless and as far as I can remember, I’ve always believed that there are other beings and it didn’t seem realistic for us to be the only ones in this vast endless universe.

In the words of Mulder (from the X-files) “the truth is out there”

(Images used: google search)