I consider myself to be a problem solver. I don’t like to dwell on things without taking some sort of action. I’m quite decisive so I usually know what I want, when I want it and I strive to acquire it.
Lately I’ve been curious about the outcome of letting go of control and to just be, simply me. There’s peace in that, there’s a bit of selfishness in that and ultimately it’s about trusting the process and more importantly trusting the resistance.
To trust the process is trusting that whatever is happening in your life right now will amount to some form of greatness and being positive about that very outcome. If I have learnt anything by my endless hours of reading about the “law of attraction” and wrapping my head around how it works, is this: want something enough, sit with the feeling of joy you would feel as if you already have it and think about it as long as it brings you that feeling of joy and then. Let. It. Go. Easier said than done, without a doubt, and the reason why we must let it go is because the more you think about not having something the longer you’ll probably not have it.
Let’s look at it in another way, have you ever really wanted something in the moment and then thought “meh, oh well, if it’s meant to be, it will” only to then, sometime later to have that very thing? I have. Sometime ago I went to an open day at UCL for a random event and as I stepped into the quad to go to the hall the event was being held, I thought to myself “I would love to study here” and then after the event, I just didn’t think about it again for maybe a year or so. When it came time to apply for my masters, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do a masters and the only place I applied to was UCL and I got an unconditional offer to start on the programme I applied for starting that September. Every time I would walk across that quad I would think of that first night when I had thought to myself “this is where I want to be” and there I was. It’s only now, about 7 years later that I have come to realise that you must really, trust the process.
I’ve gone off on a tangent and so will talk about trusting the resistance at another time, mostly because I’ve only heard about the concept yesterday and I feel the need to sit with it a little longer before I can share my thoughts on it.
So, do nothing? That falls within the sphere of trusting the process too (and trusting the resistance too I guess), sometimes it’s very discouraging to keep trying to do something and going nowhere or even reacting immediately to a situation which at the time seems like a big deal because emotions are flared. However, things aren’t always as big a deal as they may seem at the time. I’ve been blessed with having a bit of a poker face and my first instinct in situations where everything is a bit much for me, I take a step back and I don’t react. Much like when I’m on a roller coaster (which is super rare, I’m not an adrenaline junky) I don’t scream. Something inside me shuts off and a lot of the times I’m unable to react rather than it being a conscious decision not to. Therefore, it’s important to do nothing sometimes. In that action of no action, you sit with yourself, with your thoughts and may even come up with a solution that is well thought out as you have had time to examine the facts and situation better.
This year has flown by and I’ve learnt to trust myself, to be patient, to be grateful for what I have and who I’m becoming. I’ve learnt to be kind to myself to such an extent that I check in with myself as I would for anyone I love. I’ve learnt to depend on myself for emotional comfort and support. It’s been the most liberating journey, so I say 2019 has flown by but so much has happened that now it doesn’t seem to have gone by that quickly at all.
For the remainder of the year, I’m going to sit back, put my feet up, admire my shoes, let go and watch how brilliantly life can unfold.
Stay curious, my loves. xxx
Selectively Curious ©️