writing | Selectively Curious

Some websites I always turn to, for inspiration

Posted on February 22, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Feautured image is fromThought catalog

Thought catalog is a great platform for, well thoughts but more than that it’s got some excellent articles by some great writers on a variety of topics.

I agree with the quote stated in the feautured image. We do all have a story in us because we have all lived and “living” is different for everyone. I think everyone leads an interesting life, everyone has highs and lows. The way we overcome to lows and embrace the highs, that’s what defines some part of us. I believe everyone has layers and it’s a true privilege if someone unfolds their layers to let someone in and show their vulnerabilities. Humans…we really are such complex creatures.

I read something the other day which I thought was hilarious, which I would like to share with you:

I mean no offence to those that are struggling with depression but I could relate to this and thought the humour was really funny. Proves what I was saying, we are really complex.

Going back to the quote in the feautured photo, I am often told that I write as I talk. One of my friends said to me when I told her about my blog “Even if you didn’t tell me it was yours , I’d know it’s you. I can hear your voice in every word I read”. Haha she’s great. 🙂

It makes me curious and question though, if you don’t write the way you talk then how can you write? Surely, the way you write has something to do with the way you think which in turn correlates with the way you talk. So, by that logic if you’re wrighting varies from the way you talk then does the way you think not relate to the way you think? Wow, ok I’ve just given myself a headache. It surprises me because people are surprised when they read what I write and I’m not sure why. I think I need to meet an actual writer and then read their writing to understand this “merry go round” concept.

Right, so when I’m bored and not watching tv and not whatsapping (as we do) these are the websites I like to visit:

Thought catalog
Tiny buddha (helps you to be zen about everyday matters)
Huffingtonpost (for pretty much everything)
National geographic travel (to figure out travel itineraries for a destination I am going to)
Condenast travel
Bustle
The Economist (just to keep up to date with the industries my line of work is involved in).

I think that covers it. I feel there aren’t enough hours in the day to read. Oh well, I’ve been waiting in a queue as I was writing this post and I’m next (yay).

Happy reading everyone and have a lovely day. :).

Selectively Curious©

Pistanthrophobia

Posted on February 19, 2017 by Selectively Curious

It’s the fear of trusting someone due to past experiences (it’s in the Macmillan dictionary as an actual word).

I’ve somehow managed to find a middle ground. Like many of you, I used to trust very easily, still do sometimes, it all depends on the vibe I get from the other person. However, in the past year, regardless of the vibe I feel I do not trust until they prove to me that they are worth trusting. The middle ground I mentioned is I have the ability to genuinely be someone’s friend and be loyal to that friendship but not trust them back. It’s hard to explain and my friends think it’s really weird but I guess that’s how I guard myself and yet don’t lose out on the opportunity to get to know someone or walk away just because I get an odd vibe. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to prove my gut feeling wrong, even though so far my gut feeling has won every time.

More than three years ago, I became friends with a friend of a friend. Pretty soon we were inseparable, like two peas in a pod. It was like we’ve known each other our whole lives and I loved spending time with her. Our energy was contagious and addictive. We were a great duo. However in time, I realised I shared everything with her and I barely knew anything about her and this hit me more when she betrayed me a few times and left me with insecurities I didn’t think I could ever have. I won’t get into the details of it as this isn’t a rant post but had to be shared to give you some background.

Featured photo is of my cat (may she rest in peace in kitty heaven) and I feel it’s so fitting for this post. She was happily sleeping and I woke her up and she gave me that look. The look of: “I trusted you human to not disturb me whilst I sleep, well never again shall I bestow such an honour upon you!” I miss her everyday but that’s a story for another day. [the colour of the text represents my emotions when I think of her, which is blue and yet blue is my favourite colour and of all that I have lost, she was my favourite :(. ]

Three years into the friendship, I realised I have no trust in her and yet I remain friends with her and loyal because I genuinely care about her. We do still have great times together. She has now begun to open up (she was someone who never trusted anyone, so I guess we really formed a balance, since I used to blindly trust). This made me curious and I wanted to understand why I did it, my friends do not understand why I am still friends with her and here are my reasons:

We share the same wave length of thoughts, I can discuss and analyse things with her I can’t with other people
We talk about things on a deeper level and I like that we challenge each other intellectually
I actually think I’ve gotten smarter since I met her, as I read more (topics which I wouldn’t normally read about) and think about things logically, whereas before I would take things at face value and not really question it
I wouldn’t refer to myself as witty but after I met her, I recognise wit and it’s an odd thing to say but I have the ability to play along in a witty scenario if need be (go figure?)
I think she’s a great person despite what she’s done to me or other people (maybe I’m naive).

It seems like my friendship with her is for selfish reasons but it really isn’t. I’m always there for her and I do go out of my way as I would for any of my friends who I am close with (and trust), it’s just I don’t trust her. She was the first person I came across that made me realise that I can do that, I can have a genuine friendship without trust. Well, that’s probably the most grey I’ve ever been in a situation, which should be black and white. Also proves what the anonymous “they” say that everyone reacts to things in a different way.

What’s a friendship without trust? Well, here are a few things that pop into mind:

I have no expectations
I won’t get hurt or feel betrayed
it’s shallow on a few levels and with this specific friend even the shallowness is grey because of our meaningful conversations, which covers a broad range of topics
it’s actually good fun, in some ways because there is no trust, I feel less responsible
on the other hand if the other person trusts you way more than you trust them, it can be quite burdensome and there’s only so many “not much is new” you can say before they begin to catch on.

Alas, as I’ve said a gazillion times. It is what it is. 🙂

Oddly, I like that I am capable of doing this. I really like people and I like how much I can learn and grow from people. There are 7 billion people in the world and I guess the way my mind works is that I’m not going to let a thing like trust get in the way of knowing someone. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle, it’s still a fairly new concept to me so let’s see how things pan out.

I wouldn’t say I have pistanthrophobia but I have learnt to be a little more cautious with my emotions.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. 🙂

Selectively Curious©

Are we really free?

Posted on February 17, 2017 by Selectively Curious

Disclaimer: This post will be a bit of a ramble, so bear with me.

One of the things I really dislike about the world is how humans have a tendency to cage things. Animal cruelty, as much as it may have reduced since back in the day, is still a massive problem we are facing. Sometimes it’s not even intentional cruelty but pollution/littering that causes some animals to be in agony.

I saw a video, not long ago, with a turtle in it. A man had that turtle on his lap while another person tries to pull a straw out of his nose. It was painful to watch and I cannot imagine how painful it was for the turtle going through that torture. It made me happy when it was finally out and it can be free to breathe as it did before the straw got stuck up there. There are various other videos I have watched and truth be told it makes me sangry (a word I just made up describing the intense feeling of sadness and anger).

I’m no psychology major or expert, in fact I barely know anything about psychology at all. However, I do know that people who go about torturing innocent beings (be it people or animals) may have gone through some sort of trauma in their lives for them to do such mental things. Unless you’re like Geoffrey from GOT then you’re just a very bad human being and you have no defence. Having said that, Geoffrey was probably mental because of incest? Who knows. Going back to the point I was trying to make, people who trap or abuse helpless animals may have been a victim of some sort of abuse too and it’s just a vicious cycle.

Now that I’ve set the thought process behind this post, let me dig a little deeper to explain the title of the post. Why do we trap animals and keep them in Zoos? They’re meant to be wild and free. Just like us when we were created, it’s like the saying goes, you can take an animal out of the jungle but you can’t take the jungle out of the animal.

I think that applies to all of us in some ways. I guess the most specific way it applies to humans is that we want freedom, freedom to do, say, wear and be how we want. We may have become more sophisticated over the centuries, but have we really? We’re more “superior” in some ways compared to other animals because of our minds and the ability humans have of sharing knowledge. Having said all that, we’ve build massive cities with tall sky scrappers and it’s like an urban jungle as stated in BBC’s documentary titled “Planet Earth”(it’s an excellent 6 part documentary, you must watch it). In the cities we have built, we’ve put ourselves into boxes (aka apartments,villas, houses, etc) so how does that make us free? That would explain the thought process behind Zoos. It’s like subconsciously people envy the fact that animals are truly free and humans being “superior” have caged themselves and in turn they cage animals. Arguably, yes we do roam around freely but at the end of the day we go back to shelters we have built (aka our cages, which we pay good money for). It’s so interesting, the way people are.

Food for thought?

My day job vs my passion

Posted on February 12, 2017 by Selectively Curious

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, my day job (which is also a passion of mine) is of a paralegal/trainee lawyer, however my creative passion is to write and bring my writing to life with my photographs (I always loved books with pictures).

In some ways my day job goes hand in hand with my passion. To be a good lawyer, you need skills (the first three being the most crucial), including but not limited to, as follows:

Attention to detail;
Attention to detail;
Attention to detail;
Drafting (being clear and succinct, with good structure, good grammar, etc);
Assessing client needs and delivering accordingly;
Negotiation; and
Research.

Being a good writer, in my opinion, you need the following skills (including but not limited to):

Research;
Drafting; and
an original idea and in some ways giving the public what they want to read in your unique way.

It’s interesting that I can take advantage of my profession to become a great writer. In fact, I actually don’t know what I want more, to be a good writer or a good lawyer.

The featured photo is one I took from Primrose hill, Regent’s Park in London. It is by far my most favourite place in London and you will often find me there waiting for the sun to come up on a clear day. I chose this photo for this post because I feel that it represents my career life and my creative passion. I can see the sun about to come over the horizon but it’s not quite there yet and that is how I feel about my career and writing.

In a way, I am inspired by John Grisham, who is a terrific writer and I think a good lawyer too. One of his quotes “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”, which inspires me to be a good lawyer and reminds me why I chose to go to law school in the first place. It’s been a tough journey, especially since I’m in a very competitive field but I am determined to qualify and become a great lawyer. I know that I have the ability to be great and I know that I have the ability to help many people. I definitely want to be a good lawyer in that aspect because I want to be the voice of people who are unable to defend themselves.

Additionally, I want to be a good writer because I want my words to make a difference in people’s lives and I want the positivity to spread. I want people to be able to relate to my writing and those going through a tough time to realise that they aren’t alone and that we are all only human after all. I want to spread joy into people’s lives and have them believe that thing’s aren’t all bad. The sun will rise again.

At the moment I am striving to be both. Good luck to me. 🙂